Mother-in-law’s advice to son’s future bride goes viral.

Heidi Withers was chided by her future mother-in-law Carolyn Bourne for her “lack of grace” according to a cutting email that she shared with friends.

The email has since gone viral, no wonder, I love the language, sadly it typifies the stereotypical British.

Heidi Wither’s behavior during a visit to the family home in Devon is described as “staggering in its uncouthness and lack of grace.

“If you want to be accepted by the wider Bourne family, I suggest you take some guidance from experts with utmost haste.

“Here are a few examples of your lack of manners: When you are a guest in another’s house, you do not declare what you will and will not eat – unless you are positively allergic to something.

”You do not remark that you do not have enough food. You do not start before everyone else.

”You do not take additional helpings without being invited to by your host.

“When a guest in another’s house, you do not lie in bed until late morning in households that rise early. You fall in line with house norms.

“You should never ever insult the family you are about to join at any time and most definitely not in public.

“You regularly draw attention to yourself. Perhaps you should ask yourself why. No one gets married in a castle unless they own it. It is brash, celebrity style behaviour.

“If your parents are unable to contribute very much towards the cost of your wedding, it would be most ladylike and gracious to lower your sights and have a modest wedding as befits both your incomes.

‘Unfortunately for Freddie, he has fallen in love with you and Freddie being Freddie, I gather it is not easy to reason with him or yet encourage him to consider how he might be able to help you.

The prospective bridegroom and businessman Freddie Bourne, refused to comment.


South Africa’s primary-school pupils struggling with basic literacy and numeracy.

The results from the national assessment of grade 3 and 6 pupils are out, and they are shocking.

The national average performance in grade 3 for literacy was 35%, and 28% for numeracy. In grade 6, pupils achieved and average of 28% in languages, and 30% in mathematics.

What this means is that a lot needs to be done to South Africa’s education system, and that doesn’t mean just throwing money at it. Though some money has to be thrown around considering that a number of our student’s still do not desks, not to mention textbooks.

Standard Bank sends businessman private banking information of 100s of companies.

A Cape Town businessman, Justin Plunket, received the private banking information of hundreds of companies after requesting statements on his own Standard Bank business accounts.

Standard bank has attributed the error to ‘human error’ and have said that they are taking the necessary corrective steps to ensure that the person responsible is held accountable.

Justin Plunkett had requested his bank statements and instead received an attachment from which he could read the names, addresses, account numbers, credit limits and balances of hundreds of companies.

It makes me uncomfortable that such a process was not automated, even bank employees should not have such information at hand.

More from News24

The art of showing your genuine self online

We first get to know people through the image they project to us, their personality ‘business card as it were’.

As time goes on we get to hear more of their thoughts, see their actions and how they react to different situations. After that can we really get to say we know them.

With the advent of social media, we have been given a helping hand in getting the world to know us for who we really are. Of course we all have glowing views of who we are as people so how do we project ourselves to the world.

1. Be Natural.
2. Be Open and Approachable.
3. Be Helpful.
4. Be Appreciative.
5. Be Sincere; Be Honest; Be a Straight Shooter.
6. Be Comfortable with Yourself/Make Others Feel Comfortable.

Most importatly, Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.

Read more on 7 ways to show your genuine self by Janet Callaway

Funny quotes and sayings

A fun collections of short quotes and sayings. Thanks to @5tevenw the source of most of these quotes.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Wine improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.

If you don’t like where you are, then change it! You’re not a tree.

I hate being bi-polar. It’s awesome.

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least that’s what the restraining order says.

Always use tasteful words. You may have to eat them.

The road to success is always under construction.

You can tell the quality of a person by how they treat people they don’t need.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep — not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Good girls wear high heels to work. Bad girls wear high heels to bed.

“We can still be friends” is like saying “Hey, the dog died but we can keep it”

I’d like to have more self-esteem, but I don’t deserve it.

The 3 stages of sex in marriage– – Tri-weekly – Try-weekly – Try-weakly

Telkom to sell Nigerian unit at a loss

Telkom is to sell its troubled Nigerian mobile business for around $10m to a unit of Helios Towers Nigeria, the company with which it had been locked in a legal dispute.

Telkom had lined up another Nigerian buyer for $52 million dollars, but Helios Towers who had been suing Telkom for around $250 million will buy the unit for $10 million.

In addition Telkom will continue operational funding to Multi-Links to enable the completion of the deal.

More from News24

Advertising campaign for monkeys

Some of the mannerisms of monkeys, baboons and other primates are freaky to say the least. They are just to like us. Apparently they like porn too.

A group of scientist and advertising executives have put together the first ever advertising campaign for monkeys advertising food, what else would monkeys be interested in.

The adverts similar to those aimed at us are billboards, one with a picture of female genitals and the other with an alpha male, why, because that is what monkeys want to see.

Follow Phelelisani Moyo on twitter.