Cool and funny sayings

Some are inspiration, some ridiculous most are funny, we love quotes and sayings, here is a small collection mostly courtesy of ThingsBurtSays on twitter.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

I hope life isn’t a joke, because I don’t get it.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Avoid hangovers: stay drunk.

Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before. — Mae West

Don’t be irreplaceable; if you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

My ex-girlfriend’s facebook status was ‘on the edge’ so I poked her.

There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.

“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.” Woody Allen

“Man is the head of the family, woman the neck that turns the head.” Chinese Proverbs

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

For every action there is an equal and opposite criticism.

“Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five.” William Maugham

I’ve got problem for your solution

I didn’t say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

“When all is said and done, success without happiness is the worst kind of failure.” Louis Binstock

The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

Girls want a lot of things from one guy. Conversely, guys want one thing from a lot of girls.

Follow me on twitter, @sanimoyo

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

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